Helping Hands
By: RoseMary Chrysler
I was Sarah Tapley’s grandma, A.K.A, “Nina.” My husband and I have always been deeply involved in our grandkids lives. We have spent many holidays, birthdays and vacations together. We have so many special memories of camping in the backyard, baking, babysitting, hiking and much more. It really did my heart good to be close to the grandchildren. They were my everything and the added-on benefit of my child’s life. It’s such an honour to have grandchildren to love and spoil.
I remember the day when I received some news that I could have never imagined. I was driving one day and received a call from my son-in-law asking me to pull over because he needed to tell me something. Once I had pulled over he proceeded to tell me of Sarah’s illness and how serious it was. I remember him telling me she had to pack up her things to stay at the hospital immediately. I was overwhelmed with sadness at the news for my granddaughter, Sarah, and the family. Immediately I vocalized my availability to help in anyway I could.
As I processed the season ahead I started to think of all the ways I needed to be there for and to help my family. I was thinking of my daughter and my heart was heavy and breaking for what she was facing as a mother, and what my my son-in-law was facing as a father. There was no question in my mind that I was going to be fully available for the inevitable. Things like hospital visits, making sure all the kids were taken care of in regards to school, making meals, drop-offs to activities and more. I made the room to continue to make memories with my grandchildren like we did before. We continued to bake, go for hikes, go shopping and watch movies together. I wanted to help keep things stable for my two grandchildren who were at home. My heart was to provide love and support to them while their parents were overwhelmed with navigating the new normal that their family was facing.
All the way through the years of facing Sarah’s treatments for her critical illness, I made myself available by changing shifts at work, taking vacation days, and dropping everything to be there. I was greatly supported by my husband and co-workers to do whatever I had to do to help. To me, helping was not an option, it’s who I am to love and support my family in any way I can. When you’re a mother, your heart is wanting to take away the pain and make it all better. Because I couldn’t take away the pain, the only thing I could do was be available and help alleviate any pain or stress that I could. That’s my heart.
I encourage any one who finds themselves in a situation where someone you love is going though a crisis to insert yourself in any you can. Don’t think that your help isn’t appreciated or that you are intruding because everyone needs support. Some examples of how to help would be calling to check-in, leaving messages, dropping off meals, picking up any responsibilities that you can if there are kids involved and etcetera. Put yourself in the mindset of what you would need through that situation and fill in wherever you can. Even if it interrupts your normal life, think of how it’s helping others with their ‘new normal.’
I’m so thankful years later for the opportunity to give out of the abundance of my heart to share with the pain, the joys and the memories of it all. Where love abounds, the grace to give of yourself abounds even more.